How to Own Your Sexuality and Experience in the Swinger Lifestyle and Build Your Confidence!
Hey our friends! Wicked Lifestyles is a blog dedicated to literature from around the world and across genres. But it’s so much more than just text! Tablets and blogs deserve their own recognition for mastery. Today, we’re going to take a deep dive into an inspirational subject: how to take charge of your sexuality and experiences in the swinger lifestyle that is guaranteed fun–and how it will make all the difference to your confidence!
For those of you who are just getting started on your lifestyle journey we are here today especially for you, and also for everyone else. If you are here then you have some interest in the swinging lifestyle and are thinking about starting your journey. One of the most important pieces of advice that we can give you is confidence is the most attractive ensemble you will ever don, and in the world of ethical non-monogamy, it’s not something expendable—it’s entirely necessary! Confidence for us can sometimes be a deal breaker for us. We love to see someone who feels sexy and knows what they want, and they aren’t afraid to let it be known. We know that sometimes it takes people a little bit to come out, and there is nothing wrong with that. We just prefer companions that bring confidence to life.
So sit up straight, people of astounding beauty! Let’s chat about stepping into our own power, shedding embarrassment, and embracing the lifestyle: a gloriously freeing, joyous theatre of sensual delights.
What Does It Mean to “Own Your Sexuality”?
Owning your sexuality isn’t about being loud, over-the-top or boasting about your sex life all the time (though, hey—If this is your thing, go for it). It’s about:
-Recognizing and accepting your desires–free of guilt or feeling bad
-Feeling secure in expressing your own boundaries or ideas for sex
-Building sexual and emotional autonomy, even within a relationship
-Rejecting society’s old-fashioned ideas about sex and relationships
-Choosing pleasure, connection, and authenticity—on your own terms
In the swinger lifestyle, where communication, consent and curiosity are top dog, top cat and sometimes unicorn, owning your sexuality opens the door for amazing experiences. But first, let’s talk about confidence–because it’s the gasoline of this sexy engine.
Confidence in the Lifestyle: Why It’s More Important Than You Think?
Confidence is not just about swaggering into some club as if you’re walking the runway at Victoria’s Secret. It’s more vital and fundamental than that. Confidence is a significant aspect of and has one essential aspect. What is swinger confidence you ask? Keep reading and hopefully that question will be answered by the following:
— 1. Know Thy Sexy Self (and Own It!)
Confidence is internal, so the first step is to celebrate the kind of sexiness that makes you, YOU! It doesn’t matter if you have curves, six packs, a dad bod, or thick thighs that can save a life; OWN IT. Sexy is not about imitating someone else; it is about ferocity, courage, and the way one carries himself, herself, or how a couple carries themselves🍍 Hot Tip: Spoil yourself! Some new lingerie, a nice outfit, or even a new hairdo will do the trick. When you feel sexy, you certainly look and behave like you are! Try to pick out outfits that compliment your body shape, matches your skin tone or even your eyes, and will bring out that sexy beast that lies inside. Keep in mind, that it isn’t just for the ladies, gents you need to do the exact same. Get something that looks amazing on you as well, and you can even get something that compliments your partner’s outfit!
— 2. Communicate Like a Pro (Because Confidence is Also Verbal!)
In the swinger lifestyle, communication is paramount. The ability to describe your limits, desires, and hopes without a second thought is a great boost to your confidence. From setting rules for your partner or flirting with a potential playmate, honesty and polite conversation makes you very attractive. 🔥 Hot Tip: Try your sexy talk! Complimenting people, asking interesting questions, and making small talk will help you to shine in any swinger environment. Make sure when you speak to others, keep eye contact and engage with them.
— 3. Socialize!
The more you do, the better! As they say, confidence comes with experience. The more you interact with the lifestyle community, the more confident you will feel. For the beginners, there are swinger events, lifestyle parties, and meet and greets to gradually introduce them to the world. People of the same mind will surround you, and before you know it, you will be walking through the playrooms and into the private rooms as if you own the place. 🔥 Hot Tip: For those who are intimidated by large parties, suggest smaller gatherings or club nights where the pace of the scene can be slower. We always suggest newcomers to try smaller events (if possible) so that they are able to meet people in the lifestyle and will already have someone they can communicate with at bigger events. Also talk to others and figure out how their particular group communicates. If they have a website, then get the name of it. If they rather use Social Media as a farm get invited.
— 4. How to Get Over the Fear of Rejection. Rejection happens to everyone, and this includes the most confident swingers out there! Don’t take rejection as something bad. You will see that there will be people who are attrative, but just aren’t someone’s tea!
The way to deal with it is to understand that a ‘no’ is not a rejection of you as a person, it is simply a preference. The more you try, the failure will become less painful and the success will become more satisfying. 🔥 Hot Tip: Have a positive outlook on every encounter that you have. If it doesn’t work out as planned, there are always other fish in the sea! I can’t tell you how many times that I have been physically attracted to someone and wanted to play, so I have shot my shot…Yeah, didn’t work out well for me! I didn’t let that get me down, I just kept on partying with everyone! And if rejection does happen to you, please do not be the person that holds grudges, it is not a cute look!
— 5. Create a Power Couple (or Solo). Look If you are in a relationship, then work on the partnership.
A strong, confident partnership makes swinging a lot more enjoyable and without the drama. For the singles in the lifestyle (the unicorns or the stags), it is important to be real, joyful and approachable. Confidence attracts confidence. 🔥 Hot Tip: Make sure you both have a great time and look after each other. The stronger the foundation, the better the lifestyle adventures will be. Don’t be afraid to come and check on your partner. We have a signal that only we know and do that will allow each other that we are okay and everything is going great!
— 6. Keep Exploring & Keep Learning. Confidence is not something that is gained once and then kept for the rest of your life; it is something that increases as you progress in the lifestyle.
You have to keep working on your confidence all the time. One suggestion that I love to give newcomers to the swinger lifestyle is to work on your confidence both in and out of the lifestyle. Remember that you are practically living two lives; one vanilla and ther other being in the lifestyle! So you need to make sure that you balance it out and keep your confidence in every aspect of your life!
Here are some tips that will help you gain confidence in yourself while in the swinger lifestle.
Hitting That Mirror: It’s Smoking Hot to Be Sexually Self-aware
Take a day and go shopping for new outfits and lingerie! Throughout our jouney together, we will be showing you some of the clothing that we as a Team love and back! Once you go shopping, we always encourage people to take some time and put something you bought on and spend some time in the mirror loving yourself. Show yourself off in the mirror! We always encourge time to yourself to boost your confidence.
How can you own your sexuality if you are not connected with your body, desires or turn-ons? Try to find time for these things:
–Through erotic writing or guided prompts, explore your fantasies and possible take some time to learn what others’ fantasies are
-Get to know your body alone-solo pleasure: not just masturbation done for a quick orgasm before Netflix but take the time to explore your body. Know what feels good to you and what doesn’t
-Dress up for yourself. Be your own type of sexy. Put on that lingerie or fancy boxers if that’s what suits you; just make sure you put on something that makes you feel sexy
Say affirmations to yourself such as: “I am sexy! I am confident! I’m a sexual pleasure magnet!” (At first, you’ll feel a bit cheesy. Do it anyway.) Make sure you tell yourself everyday how hot you are and that you deserve to have fun in the lifestyle. We have differnt sayings written all over the house to remind us to tell ourselves how amazing we are!
Self-awareness=sexual power. There’s nothing more attractive than somebody who is confident in what they’re doing, and what they want.
For our couples we highly suggest that you strengthen Your Relationship Building Blocks {For those couples who are considering entering the lifestyle together, confidence arises out of a solid emotional connection.}To get there requires to talk often because good communication is key: think about what you would love for you and your partner to improve one, and talk to each other about your boundaries and fantasies. We also like to critique oneself at play sessions! Make sure that you had fun, were respectful of others’ boundaries, and make sure that everyone is feeling okay after playing is key.
Please avoid sweeping things under the rug! If there is something that needs to be discussed, then don’t just let it go. Bring it up in a healthy conversation so that everything is out on the table. Remember: your love developing life isn’t just about getting it on with other people, it is about strengthening your bond through shared adventures together as a couple.
Shed the Shame (Really, Throw It Overboard) Let’s face it: sexual shame kills confidence! And once your confidence is gone, it can be very hard to gain it back. This culture has been drenched in a sex-negative atmosphere–we’ve all been marinated in it. Monogamy Is the “Only Way Good” girls do not enjoy sex! Real men do not share their partner. You are too old/young / fat/thin to be sexy. We call bullshit on that one. Keep in mind that everyone has a specific taste or fantasy that they would like to fulfill. Thus, to go against all of that is the swinger lifestyle is a direct rebellion against societal norms. It is a celebration of freedom, curiosity, and consent. So, what do you do to get rid of that? Surround yourself with sex-positive people who are similar to you in attitude.! Use affirming phrases like: “I am liberated, not broken.” “I am exploring, not dirty.” Be sure that you’re not chasing status, and that the people around you are eventually lifting your own consciousness following content creators who promote sexual freedom.
Get therapy or coaching if deeper healing is required. Shame can’t hide in the daylight of a loving community and education. 5. Mark Every Success (At Least the Small Ones). Did you introduce yourself to somebody at an informal gathering? Did you put on a fresh outfit that made you feel plucky? Did you say no to something that wasn’t right? Did you try something you were sure you would never do? We sure hope that you did! That is the beauty of the lifestyle, there is something for everyone! You will meet people who have possibly experienced different aspects that you might be interested in. So make sure that you are talking with them and getting to pick their brains.
Pop the champagne, baby! We gain confidence when we acknowledge our progress. Make sure that you are telling each other uplifting things in the lifestyle. If you finally get a chance to play solo, then acknowledge it and make sure your partner acknowledges it. A “Good Game” slap on the butt will change your life and show, not only your other half, but you as well are making great strides in the lifestyle. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Celebrate those brave moves as the Baddass that you are.
🔥 More Coming! Want to dig deeper into the lifestyle, to get exclusive guides and wear cheesy merchandise that says “I’m a sex-positive queen/king/unicorn?” Stop by the Wicked Store for exclusive merch that will ensure that you have some great gear for entering the lifestyle. More stuff coming soon to help you on your journey into the swinger lifestyle. We like to do reviews on some of our favorite products that we stand by, and you can find them on our review page of our blog. As we grow, we are trying to make this something special for our Wicked Family and share experiences, recommendations, and insights into the lifestyle. We are currently building a network of business that we love and we hope soon that you will be introduced to them as well.
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Remember my friends, Stay Wicked and have fun!
The Wicked Lifestyle Team
